Before I upload my finished book to KDP - I wanted to experiment with a wider audience, specifically men.
My own separation was over ten years ago now and many of the wounds are healed. Occasionally I am reminded that I do not play the complete part of a Father that I would like to.
Over the past few months. I have been on several facebook groups that are connected to my project. I was apprehensive about using social media as too much of a platform. This is because I wanted to try and give my work meaning and to be able to establish between the over consuming content we have on these sites. From the beginning of this project, I have been in groups that discuss separation, divorce, children's groups, mentoring, publishing and more. I have had some great insights into how many of theses worlds work and the terminology used within them.
I contacted a group called FATHERS RIGHTS UK a group who has over 9000 members and asked if I may be able to offer my book as a free PDF on their site. They agreed and I placed a post on their offering advice and help and a free children's eBook discussing separation and growth for couples with children that decide to end their relationship.
I also asked individuals if they wouldn't mind answering a questionnaire that may benefit the book before publication. Below is the post.
I wanted to open up some discussions about my book, particularly with Dads.
I was completely overwhelmed by the response.
Within 2 hours, I had sent over 70 PDF versions of my book.
The PDF received some great responses and I am beginning to develop good relationships with some of the Fathers that contacted me.
Below are some of the responses.
This is just a small section of the responses I received.
I will gather more responses over the next few weeks before I go to publish the book.
From the feedback received, it is clear that I have hit the right tone for Fathers and the agreed demographic for the book was around 3-6 years of age.
CHANGES TO MY PROJECT
During this intervention, it occurred tome that a lot of Fathers were clearly suffering and did not feel that they were receiving adequate support. Many were going through the courts just to even get a few hours a week for their children. Of course each case is different. There are always tow sides to the story, however I have thought fo a long time that the system is set up more in the favour of Mothers. I had always been apprehensive about joining any Fathers groups. Scaling the Royal Courts of Justice dressed as Batman or Robin was not my idea of a fun weekend. I felt passionate about things during my separation but felt that a gimmicks and climbing walls were not the answer. On refection I regret not being more involved with support groups at the time, it would have helped me overcome the process.
Considering the ethics behind my project.
Since placing this free eBook online, I am still receiving messages everyday, asking me for a copy. Two people have even asked me if they could share it out to their own support groups. This has given me so much belief and confidence that I am on the right path with my support material for parents.
Now that my work is taking a different direction, I will be implementing strategies to ensure that when appropriate people's identities are protected. I had begun to consider this over the past few months and Richie also spoke to me about it during one of our online sessions. It is important that I address this as my work is building towards something with a lot more sensitivity attached. I will make sure that I establish parameters to any future work and will do this by providing consent forms and clear guidelines about what of some of my research may be used for.
There was one development that I had not prepared for; Someone from my work contacted me as they had seen my post and asked if they could have a copy of the PDF. I of course sent it off to them and we continued talking over the next few days. We had barely spoken to each other at work but I have offered my support and mentoring to him and we will meet in person once some restrictions are lifted. He is going through a very tough time at the moment in trying to gain access to his children. Whether it be a fallacy or not, we must all ensure that both men and women have access and support in their contact with their own children. This is an all too familiar story and as a society we have to face up to this.
In further research into this, there seems to be conflicting information for both men and women:
There are over 40,000 cases a year that are brought before the courts. So how is a children's picture book going to help? It is clear from this intervention that not all separations are the same. Some couples are further along. Some may have only decided on the tough decision to part. We need to on some level understand the part that children play. They are not mute soldiers. I found this on one of the sites I was on which is truly heartbreaking.
This honest poem from Megan 15, gives us insights in what we can do to change things.
We must engage with these children and give them clear and honest communication.
We must all have a voice in this process. Both parents and any children they may have.
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